beautiful seed

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Somehow i managed to keep my promise. Somehow you seem to give me the strength to carry on, to shift my focus onto my studies, to ensure that i study hard and not let you down. I managed to refrain myself from crying, but i didn't manage to refrain myself from thinking of you once in a while, when i am studying, Somehow you just came into my mind, I would think of the happy days we had together, how much we enjoyed eash other's company, how much you took care of me when i was young, hw you protected me from being caned by my parents, how heartbroken you'll be when my parents cane me for being naughty. My thoughts will wander off, but after a while, i'll tell myself that i've to focus on my studies because that's what you wanted. I do think of you when i'm in bed, i'm still having sleepless nights cos i'm thinking of you. I still wake up in the morning wondering how are you today. But I've stop crying, cos i know it's useless and if you don't like me to cry. I'm picking myself up, but i would never stop worrying about you. To tell you the truth, I leave in fear everyday. I fear that you'll leave me one day, I fear that you'll wipe me off your memory, I fear that i'll lose my pillar of support, I fear that i would not have the strength to live on without you....I'm really scared. I'll move on with life, but you'll always be on mind....

[praying hard that you'll get well]